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About Deviant gwen23/Female/United States Group :iconplace-for-your-head: place-for-your-head
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Deviant for 9 Years
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writing on uppers is inauthentic apparently
The sun's in my eyes and I'm getting tired at the wheel.
Achy temples and a sore hunting grin
cracking my jaw, I know my face is drawn
on like a caricature.
Destiny's a farce and I'm destined to plug on.
What brings me to my knees? Dignity
It weighs on me like a crown and furs.
When I eat shit for breakfast, you best believe
I'm drinking jewels at dinner.
Anyway, I got no choice
born into it, I'm told:
my insides shine and my heart's chambers are full of fire
to smelt my blood, turned liquid gold.
When I was 9, I was supposed to be a prophet
but the tongues my given congregation spoke were
gibberish to me.
Natural born leader minus one flock, no one wants to worship a heroine who looks more like
she should have dropped the "e" off that title.
Mom said it was ok, she just wanted to see
what would happen to me in a room full of people
who all think they're talking to god.
Nothin moves me much these days, so I forget the nomenclature
for a chica who hangs her head low and mumbles in her s
:iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 0 0
Three Trees by WritingFiercely
Mature content
Three Trees :iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 1 2
The Last Few Years I Was Building A Waiting Room
Your Aloha, my turn
to untie the knots in my heart for words.
I who know so much have no reference point for this:
having tried every door on the continents available to me,
and not found home
nor true north, of any sort.
Was the hair in the binding
a fly in the ointment? Hear my heart:
I shared that inky saltstained Paradise with you
knowing only you would understand,
much like this.
It was probably feline.
I have never built a well of stone
digging through moss and dirt with metal
(slightly rusted)
and laying rock on rock, veins in my arms pulsing
to gather water.
All the same, I know what it is
to rip up grassy roots beneath the dark black topsoil
and hand over hand, pull up clods of sentimental earthworm homes
cultivated under years of pressure
in the place where liquid love wells up, nearer my core.
I am building myself a garden
to sit in, when I am
finally alone.
I am waiting for my growth to fruit
so that I will never sleep hungry again.
I am waiting, like always,
and I promise,
:iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 1 0
Crouching in the Stream of Consciousness
Call me melodramatic; well, I hope
I'm not just an ant disturbing the peace.
One image burned onto my brain; marked circa 2011,
I abandoned hope by the side of Erbes Rd in spring and fiddled the handbrake on my bike.
You could say I'm a longtime believer,
gearing up to pass the test
of time. (You did say you were eternal)
I'm a kid in the riverbed, crying for a break
begging my old antlered god to send down some rain
I just want something easy, I shrink at my own thunder
I feel safe in the brush but don't know what to do in water.
:iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 1 8
Building a Temple Can Take Years
The plastic chair outside has no support in its arms
so I let mine hang.
This bottle comes with no worm at the bottom
so the one in my stomach stays lonely.
Nothing against you, something against us
the feeling crawling at your hairline crawls at mine too.
Walking anywhere just to get some-
-where can I find my shoes? A cup of coffee maybe
to soothe the wait-wait-waiting blues.
Worthiness is a tall stick to measure oneself by.
I vomit similarly to you. Angry shame
but no one sees it happen to me. Why is it that when you spew insides
thirty feet in front of your two feet standing shaking
and hit a tree
no one's there to watch? Or help
when you're not crying, only leaking.
Regard for others? Where was yours
when you wrote you loved me forever? Regard for others
As if you saw me sprint away, no breath in my lungs,
my fist in my throat,
pray I don't crumble
pray I can feel my legs again
after this is all over:
there's never been an end in sight.
Is it something against me? I have no spite
:iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 0 0
Mature content
Family History :iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 0 22
Speaking of Reciprocating Saws
Met my mom in her bathroom this morning,
before she had her face on. Little bird nose
little sunk eyes
little sleepy smile when I came through the door.
She told me how life is suffering
and looked uncomfortable
averted her eyes.
Speaking your truth should not harrow your hands so.
If she were being genuine she would not have shaken.
She knows she lies.
Standing by my car door,
I want to want to climb in, and forced it
"I want to leave this place!" and almost cried:
the further I get, the harder it stings
the whip she hadn't cracked until today.
Remind me why I do it, please
remind me why I believe I can fix.
I called my pops a little while back, and he said
he remembers her light and unsunk
told him a dirty joke when she wanted him. I thought
I heard him cry.
Kept saying she's a good woman.
I don't want to be a good woman.
I want to be alright.
:iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 2 14
Mature content
You Me and 5 Bucks :iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 1 0
Mature content
Entropy is the Most Mellow Force :iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 0 0
Mature content
No One Thinks I'm Going Anywhere (But I'm Not) :iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 0 0
Mature content
How to Avoid Misinterpreting the Written Word :iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 0 0
Ritual Practice
Darkened lower lip pressing against lid
Warming styrofoam sticking onto skin
20 minutes late, 5 more wouldn't hurt;
finish up the chapter, empty out the cup.
As you are slowly waking from a heavy halting dream,
silent sunlight boiling against the windowpane
someone divvies up the Times, someone walks their kid to school
Seething in the ticky-tacky, do you keep your rituals?
Second story watchdog, I inherited a heel-toe shuffle
walking back from donuts to my mom's house, up her hill
Work boots, Levis, back-pocket novel:
memory jackknifed on the days I didn't keep to ritual.
You can keep on pluggin' on, I'll try all the plugging up
starting with the holes in your Motel 6 ambiance;
Termite tunnel 6-leg scratch drowns out post-Laker game news
Sheisty crawlers only die when I practice rituals.
:iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 1 0
no longer the beast of your home
let go of my hair, you're keeping me on my knees in
this cleanly pit rank not with
bad reputation but manipulation laced with false and
misplaced good intention, i say
no, wait,
fuck you, DONA.
:iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 1 8
tool poem 1
The stars lay shimmering, shimmering
over the glassy sheen on his eyes
as he stood to face them full on in the chest
he reflected the whole sky.
Moon was an unfinished disk over his lips
like ultraviolet glowing white -
I've made his skin black like night and rich dirt
the swill of the soil in my teeth only pulling further his
from the nape of his neck towards me,
standing behind him in the mirror, I can see the cosmos
on the tips of his nipples
the skin of his teeth.
What else has he, if that be
but on his skin?
Stars lay quietly shimmering, shivering
on the glassy lake-sheen of his eyes
behind which lies
the tiny upside-down reflection of me
like in a glass bottle.
:iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 1 9
Ode to Tori
I found your Simon and Garfunkel album under a stack
of old mix cd's, and thought
you are the bridge and the silent water.
Like that old Monet with lily-pads and soft moss,
you are the woman in light draped cloth I perceive
just outside the edges of the frame.
Byron said you walk in beauty
(though you like Keats infinitely more, Byron spoke of you.)
Shy and quiet (speak! you have more than you understand
that holds greater value than you estimate)
and endlessly generous.
You wait your turn, head down and unassuming but
radiantly beautiful,
and artist's soul (anyone who looks in your eyes sees)
tempered with the virtue desired
of a woman long before you or I were thought of.
You never cease to give of yourself;
before long, you'll be given to by someone else
worthy of your sweetest affection -
and, my lovely, Tori -
there aren't many that are.
:iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 1 3
I have become feminine, with soft edges.
Less sharply shadowed with you pulling cover over me, I
curl around your fingers, slipping
falling through each hour dripping
sweetened with sunrise shared 'tween sheets that now are absent
from your bed.
My fingers are longer, nails are smoother
legs have gotten less mechanic as they're passed over by your hands,
I never dreamed I'd be as pretty as I know I am
reflected in your eyes.
This new curvature to my breast,
foreign, I feel, a woman beats beneath it.
I step light on my toes and you have your feet turned out.
I shrink and spend time at the mirror,
lining my eyes, I pull my lips to the side,
I fix my hair although you flatter
(know full-well that it doesn't matter)
stand behind me, kiss my neck.
We can transcend time to be traditional,
you widen and I cinch at the waist.
:iconwritingfiercely:WritingFiercely 5 8

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Remember to melt me over your body like wax.
I scratched your secrets into my surface,
Sealed them with hot metal and
Burned your heartbeat into my chest.
Your lips were exactly right.
You felt like a flame burning into my thighs.
You left puckered scars all inside my throat,
They shine silver when I open my mouth.
Call me your treasure chest,
Open my body and dig inside.
:iconsalmonella-poisoned:salmonella-poisoned 1 2
Little moments of desperation
escape like fumes though an ancient wall
making dizzy, momentarily,
only to evaporate
Merely seconds of sinking ground
at open sea, sound of heartbeat hastening,
turning into stone
A single stroke of airless wind
searching for life in the infinite
when overflowed by a herd of men,
fighting solely, just to flee
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This is the ocean in which you stranded me.
Paint my skin on, cold and blue,
So I can vanish into your tide.
The water weeds fold around me,
I graze them with my fingertips
And remember the way your stomach felt:
Soft like the sand,
Cool like the water,
Shuddering like the waves.
:iconsalmonella-poisoned:salmonella-poisoned 1 2
I woke up to the splatter sound of vomiting in the living room.
I dragged myself there in the night,
Fingers jammed back in my mouth,
Woke up retching,
Spurting fluids around your name.
I tried to recall the dream in which
I ripped the arms off of my best friend,
Nailed her to the pavement
And doused the flames
Engulfing my dream-mother
With my hands.
It left me heaving, covered in bile,
Sprawled out on the hardwood at dawn.
Hoarse, I whisper a plea to some God
(The one who I forgot long ago)
And crawl back over tile to bed
To let the nightmares roll through me again.
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United States
will tell stories for money. or we could set up a barter system.......tell me YOUR stories?

Current Residence: southern california
Favourite genre of music: pick ONE?!
Favourite cartoon character: V, from V For Vendetta
As I grieve the loss of my last first muse I pray it's my blood you want to see boiling in tickie-tackie.
I betray every god I build for you, still dreaming of our Someday like it's the only Someday that mattered, not even bitterly anymore. I'm scared I'll never see it. I'm scared I'll never see a Someday like that again, even as a vision.

I can only write to you, nothing else works. I still don't know what I'm doing.


Add a Comment:
FaithHopeAndLOVE Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2012  Student General Artist
Hallo sweetheart-I kinda want to talk to you all about HAWAII :heart: Are you free to talk on the phone soon about all your time in paradise? :) I'm so excited for you!! Still majoring in English? :D We have the futures ahead of us and all looks so bright :) We can do it :) :)
Also, I found a Salvador Dali quote that I really like~"Surrealism is destructive, but it destroys only what it considers to be shackles limiting our vision." Makes me want to try to make a surrealist piece lol :)

:music: All my love, I will send to you :music:
FaithHopeAndLOVE Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Student General Artist
WritingFiercely Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
FaithHopeAndLOVE Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Student General Artist
:glomp: :XD: :heart:
IridaColorata Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2011
Hi!! Thank you very much for the fave!! It's nice that you like my art!!This is a big compliment for me!!
WritingFiercely Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
no no not at all, very well deserved~~~
FaithHopeAndLOVE Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2011  Student General Artist
I left you a phone message :heart:
WritingFiercely Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
:kiss: i'm sorry i've been so busy lately D: i prawmiss we'll get together asap; you busy over thanksgiving weekend? this weekend i'm absolutely swamped :(
FaithHopeAndLOVE Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011  Student General Artist
I'm actually going to Ash's for Thanksgiving :heart: hahahah I hope you're free at some point. lol. Love ya.
FaithHopeAndLOVE Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2011  Student General Artist
:eweplz: :iloveyouplz:
Add a Comment: